Dear Counselor Beezy,
I am reaching out to you today because I have encountered a challenging and complex situation that has left me feeling deeply distressed and uncertain about the right course of action. Your wisdom and guidance would be greatly appreciated.
For the past six years, I have shared a close friendship with a male companion. Our bond goes back to our childhood, and we have traversed various life stages together. We attended the same Junior High School and senior High School, and even pursued tertiary education side by side. Throughout this time, our relationship remained entirely platonic, with no hints of romantic or intimate feelings on either side. It's important to note that we both have our respective partners: he has a girlfriend, and I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend.
Recently, my friend invited me to attend a wedding with him. I informed my boyfriend about this invitation, and he had no objections; in fact, he wanted to join me but had prior commitments. Little did I know that this evening would take an unexpected and unsettling turn.
Following the wedding, my friend and I decided to continue the celebration over some drinks. As the night progressed, I began to feel the effects of alcohol, and it became evident that I was getting drunk. Sensing my inebriation, I expressed my desire to return home. My friend, however, assured me that I was safe in his company and promised to see me home after a few more drinks.
Given the trust I had in our friendship, I did not initially feel concerned about my safety, even though I was no longer capable of consuming more alcohol. However, as the night wore on, I lost consciousness, and my memory became fragmented.
When I eventually regained some level of awareness, I found myself in an alarming and distressing situation. My friend, the person I had trusted implicitly, was engaging in sexual activity with me while I was in no state to consent or resist due to my intoxicated condition. It was a traumatic experience, and I felt violated and powerless.
As my full awareness returned, I confronted him about the incident. He explained that he believed I was too drunk to be safely sent home, so he brought me to his room. He further stated that he could not control his actions when he saw me sleeping nearby with my legs open, leading to the unfortunate event. Although he offered an apology, it felt hollow and insufficient given the gravity of the situation.
The aftermath of this incident has left me grappling with profound guilt and confusion. I have contemplated the idea of reporting the incident to the authorities, but I am also weighed down by the fear of potential stigma, the repercussions it could have on my relationship with my boyfriend, and the loss of trust he might experience.
Counselor Beezy, I am in desperate need of your guidance. I seek your counsel on how to navigate the emotional turmoil I am currently experiencing, whether it is advisable to disclose this incident to my boyfriend, and what steps I should take as I move forward from this distressing event.
Thank you
Comments